About 30 women gathered Jan. 16 for the She Is Conference, sponsored by Grow Ellsworth County.

The conference discussed an array of topics, including freeing up schedules by saying no, the invisible workload of women and speaking the truth.

“Maybe saying no to things on your calendar is a good start to have confidence, and it could transform to something else in your life,” Gretchin Staples said.

Staples is the Program Manager and Facilitator for Kansas Agriculture and Rural Communities.

“I think it’s a female trait to take care of other people, to make sure everybody is happy,” Staples said. “The purpose of today is to give yourself permission to say no. If you’re saying yes to everything, it doesn’t allow someone else to say yes. It allows other people to step in.

“Please continue to say yes to things that align with your passion.”

She explained an overbooked calendar can cause stress. For creative thinkers, stress can inhibit creative thinking and forward progress.

Emily Lindsley, nurse practitioner at Ellsworth County Medical Center and a life coach, discussed the invisible workload women often experience.

“Household management includes physical work and mental or emotional labor, which invisible, is often unnoticed,” she said. “The emotional and/or invisible workload is organizing, planning, remembering, anticipating, managing the schedules, budget — all very valuable skills, but mostly invisible.

“We try to make birthday or Christmas special for our families.”

Lindsley said historically, domestic tasks were unpaid, and that can translate to them being viewed as having no monetary value.

“Others can help carry the emotional load,” she encouraged attendees. “Often, we’re scared to hand over the labor. Is there somebody else that could do this job? Are there things you’re willing to let go of in order to clear some of those things off of your calendar?”

She encouraged those present to write a list of items and find ways to ask for assistance.

Kanopolis resident Stacy Hicks, who runs several businesses with her husband, said the opportunity to network and connect with others in similar situations was valuable.

“A day filled with other women who are in business and moms going through the same things sounded like a good getaway,” she said. “Just knowing I’m not alone going through similar situations such as invisible workload, it’s nice to know you’re not alone in that.”

Throughout the day, artist Melissa Shaw talked about using vision boards as part of goalsetting.

“It’s nice to get my vision board done. I’m enjoying having some free time to get that done,” Hicks said.

Shaw said there is a difference between vision boards and dream boards.

“Dreams are a broader, bigger thing. Goals are a scheduled, timed, shorter- term thing,” she said. “I do a vision board every couple of years. I begin to build up my board and soon, it’s thick because I keep pasting over the top of it.

“A vision board is a powerful manifestation tool. I think that’s the key — this is a tool. This empowers you, just like learning to say no. (A vision board uses) all of your resources to get your schedule where you want it to go. It drives you toward your goal.”

Also presenting was Jodi Schmidt, executive director of the University of Kansas Health System Care Collaborative Patient Safety Organization and Kansas Clinical Improvement Collaborative, LLC, Accountable Care Organization.

“You are allowed to use the strengths that are innate to you,” she said. “We, as women, as research has shown, have different strengths than men.”

She discussed strategies to help move conversations and decisions along.

“We are in a very hurried world,” Schmidt said. “We have more on our plates than we can manage. You really do have to take the time to make yourself available.

“You have to take the time to truly listen. It’s human nature for us to want to process responses. We want to think about what am I going to say before we really hear what a person is saying, then to dig deeper and ask questions.”

Focusing on quality of life is an important aspect of work.

“What is meaningful for you can, and should be, different from others,” Schmidt said. “Have you defined success? If you know what is success for you, it helps you cultivate where you get your power. We can’t be all things to all people.

“What was successful for me wasn’t to have the title. It was to be living in a community where I could be involved in (my kids’) volleyball and basketball and still have a meaningful career. That was a decision I made.

“As a woman I got a lot of flack for it. I waited until it was right for me.”

She echoed Staples’ sentiment from earlier in the day about giving others the opportunity to lead.

“It’s important for us to not let everyone depend on us,” Schmidt said. “I had everyone depend on me to keep all of the balls in the air and (make sure) nothing hit the ground.”

Focusing on a strong team is essential.

“You need to make sure that you have created the infrastructure, that it does not depend on how passionate you are at your goal,” she said. “If we work at creating the underpinnings, things don’t have to fall apart when we’re not there. Organizations that build those underpinnings will thrive and continue to be successful.”

The event was organized by Grow Ellsworth County, and financial support provided by Network Kansas.

Heather McLemore, a detective with the Ellsworth Police Department, was one of the attendees.

“I thought it was important for the community to see a female law enforcement officer,” she said. “A lot of people don’t know we have one.”

McLemore began working in Ellsworth in July.

“I had a blast today — networking, getting to meet new people and learning different skills to better myself and others in the community,” she said. “It’s a small community; it’s good to have people you can lean on that you haven’t met before.”