Change. It’s only a little six-letter word, but seems so much bigger.

Change. The thought of change can keep you awake at night, give you nightmares, make you sick to your stomach and even invoke tears. Or all of the above and even more.

As we get older, change of any kind gets harder as well. Harder to adjust to. Harder to decide which door is the one you are supposed to open or which window to peek through.

My husband and I are at this point right now. Most of you know Butch; he grew up here, he graduated from Ellsworth High School and literally went off into the wild blue yonder as he spent years as a skydiver and skydive instructor after graduation. We’ve lived in Ellsworth County for 23 years and raised our family here.

He has been employed with Signify, formerly known as Philips Lighting in Salina, for 15 years. They’ve been (mostly) good years but in less than six short weeks it will end. His last day is scheduled for July 2; at the end of July, the plant will be closed and moved overseas. Don’t you hate when a company does that? Seems worse when it affects you directly.

So, here we are at the crossroads of life, having to make a pretty big change. What’s the right thing to do? It’s not easy when you’re close to retirement age but not quite there. Not easy when you have great benefits that you don’t want to lose. How do you decide what changes to make at this stage? What’s the best option? How do you deal with a big cut in pay if that’s what we end up with? And the loss in benefits?

I seldom play games or answer questions on Facebook but answered one the other day, “You are now cursed with the job the main character has in the last movie/TV show you watched. What’s your new profession?” Not sure what is the last thing Butch watched but at that point the last thing I had watched was Jeopardy so I am now the Jeopardy host! How easy was that?!

Unfortunately, making changes and major life choices aren’t easy. Butch is one of those people who is talented enough to do anything and everything. Something is broken? He can fix it. Need a room remodeled? He can do it. He’s sometimes a bit slow with the honey-do list (in my opinion) but he gets that done too. He’s a pretty good talker so I would guess he would be a pretty good salesman as well. He can do pretty much anything.

So, does he reinvent himself and go in a totally new direction? Does he look out of town for a job? Does he look in Ellsworth or somewhere in-county? Does he bite the bullet and take early retirement (neither one of us are ready for him to do that!)? Do we sell our house and find something cheaper also known as smaller? (Anyone want to buy a 5 bedroom, 1 3/4 bathroom house in a great location in Ellsworth? We’ve got one we think we would sell.) So many questions and

So many questions and no answers at this point, but everything is on the table as we try to navigate this change — a change we never dreamed we would be making at this point. A change we really would like to wake up from and find it was all just a dream. A change that in the end, will probably turn out just fine.

Change. That little sixletter word should not be scary, but if I dwell on it too much, it really is.

Stay tuned ...